you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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