just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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