I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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