I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
