Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
