So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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