The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
