Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
