She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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