Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
