just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just found a bag of teeth...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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