I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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