Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
