you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
