i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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