I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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