My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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