this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize