Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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