I puked a lego.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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