you turned your livingroom into a bong?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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