I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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