PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
