do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
home. puking in laundry basket.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
