Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
