I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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