dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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