i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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