Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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