Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
