we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
