I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
