well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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