:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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