somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
