I'm gonna have a badass scar
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize
