What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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