I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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