dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
