when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
