why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
