you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
