none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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