We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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