You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
