Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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