She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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