you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so let's talk penis.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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