Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
