does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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