girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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