It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
