Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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