ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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