Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
