Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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