ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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